Monday, October 22, 2012

A Sad Remembrance

Today should have been your Happy 21st Birthday, Kendal.

I wish with all my heart that you were here to celebrate it. You and Emery should be living in your little house together with the navy blue bedrooms. Waking up to eggs and little notes from each other. Getting ready to send Addie off to her day at kindergarten.

It’s tragic that, had it not been for a sad misunderstanding and the prejudice and neglect from ones who were supposed to love and take care of you, you both might have lived your dream.

Rest in peace, Kendal and Emery.


  1. I thought about this post all day today and my heart has been heavy. I didn't even know them but I feel SO SO sad. I can only imagine how you, as someone so close to these two boys, must feel today. Such a heart-breaking tragedy :-( I feel like any words I could write are a bit meaningless but I just wanted you to know how this post has touched me.

  2. Thank you, Tiffany. They were so special, both of them. I didn't have the pleasure of knowing Kendal, but I know so much about him through Emery. They really did need each other like breathing. Emery loved him so I do too.

  3. I, too, am saddened by this memory. Everytime I hear of another young life cut short those 2 beautiful faces come to my mind. I am so sorry for your pain today, but please know that sharing your story has allowed me to help and support others who also feel alone and lost God bless you and your boys .

    1. I think one of the saddest parts is this whole tragedy were the number of people who were aware that something was terribly wrong with Kendal and didn’t act or waited too long, and I’m not even talking about Emery. Until his foster father kicked him out of the house for being gay Kendal was such a success story. High school honor student, baseball star, student council president, leadership committee member of many high school clubs, BMX racer who was in contention for a sponsorship and accomplished musician on four instruments. Then he lost everything because James chose to be a homophobic asshole, and Kendal had no choice but to return home to his abusive family. The physical torture and rape by his father and brother, the voices in his head that wouldn’t shut up, the self-loathing and drugs tore him apart. I don’t know many people who could fall so far so fast under those circumstances and not question their reasons for even being alive. He had many friends who adored him, but he felt so worthless he turned his back on them, and they weren’t even aware his life was falling apart. They are still suffering, especially Kendal's friend Kyle who watched him die. Everybody seemed to need a scapegoat to alleviate their own guilt, and there was his ex-boyfriend, Emery. He was just a kid himself but so willing to take the blame because he thought Kendal’s suicide was his fault. And now, they’re both gone. Life is so difficult for the young nowadays, but it’s so much harder for gay kids who have no anchors and seem to just exist to be bullied and abused. It's wrong and it has has to end.

  4. I have been reading your stories for awhile now, and just looked up your bio on lit. I'm very sorry for what's happened to Emery (and Kendal-I read that story when it was first posted). I wish I had known then...but there's no way to guess.
    I've read all your stories (loved Dreaming of Dax!) and just found your blog as well from your bio. I'll be following the blog, and thank you for sharing your wonderful writing talent with us all!