I'll Be Your Dream, I'll Be Your Wish, I'll Be Your Fantasy
It didn’t take me any time to decide how to handle the problem. Santa Bella was too far away to deal with this shit long-distance. There were two people directly involved; one I couldn’t call because I didn’t have his phone number anymore, and the second was barely answering my texts to him. I wasn’t taking the chance on being wrong if Brendan continued to hound Dax or if my boy was seeing someone new. Class was out for three weeks before I was scheduled to check in with Stanford for my fall semester. I arranged a long weekend off from work, citing a family emergency- which, from my outlook, it more or less was. I was going home.
Truth be told, my entire nervous system danced with exhilaration at the prospect of seeing Dax again; at least, when it forgot to worry about his reception of me. To have a concrete reason to return home in which I’d been summoned by a mutual friend to deal with the threat. It was time to settle with him and quit playing games, time to stop letting him have all the control. I needed to know his intentions so I could make plans about my life.
Okay, I had screwed up like always, but I was doing the best I could to sort through the problem and deal with it in an adult fashion. Dax probably wouldn’t be happy about my appearance, but I hoped the fact that he was in cell phone contact with me, slight though it was, meant he would forgive me. I counted on three months absence to sooth his anger and on him not ordering me to leave him alone. I trusted that he loved me enough to give me a chance to explain myself.
But, on the other hand, if he was serious about this new boyfriend, I would lick my wounds and bow out gracefully. Slit my wrists later when I was by myself. Or at least cry myself to sleep every night for the next two years.
By late dinnertime of the following Thursday I was in Santa Bella. I barely took the time to dump my travel gear at my parents’ house and drove to Lauren Appleby’s straightaway. Ringing the doorbell, I waited impatiently in the warm evening air and couldn’t stand still. Her light brown hair was damp from a shower when she answered on the second peal.
“Michael,” she exclaimed in surprise. “When did you get back in town?”
“Hi, Lauren.” I gave her a disarming smile. “I drove down today. How are you?”
She wasn’t fooled by my strained calm or good manners. “I’m fine but a cordial visit isn’t why you’re here, is it?” Lauren was Dax’s friend much more than mine, and she’s no dummy. Good news travels fast in our circle.
We laughed when I shook my head. “Is Brendan around?” The determination on my face must have scared her because she turned a little pale. I put up my hand to forestall argument. Deciding to be tactful and not wishing to cause trouble, I nevertheless would not to shirk my responsibility. “I promise not to start anything if I can help it.”
She took a big breath and gave me a crooked grin. “I’ll get him. Please stay here. You might choose to handle this like a grown-up, but I’m not sure he will. Brendan already caused one near-fistfight this week.”
A minute later the door opened again with a disgruntled “What?” A washed-out, gaunt, wretched version of Brendan stood in front of me. I could not believe this was the same man who had loved Dax to distraction two, three years before. His torment was clearly painted on his face and build. Yet, as much as I pitied him, my mission was not to play superhero and solve his troubles.
Brendan wrinkled his brow momentarily in lack of recognition, and then his face cleared. “Michael Capshaw?”
I nodded at him in what I hoped was a non-threatening way. “Hello, Brendan. I heard rumors you were back in town.”
“Did Dax send you?” Brendan asked bitterly. His hackles had gone up at once, and his stance was filled with tension, his face set in belligerent lines.
“No, he didn’t, but I came on his behalf…”
He didn’t give me time to finish my statement. “Look, this isn’t necessary. I get it, okay? He doesn’t want me, and I don’t need his fucking bodyguard here to prove it by hassling me.”
“No hassles, Brendan, I promise.” I hooked my hand on the doorframe. He was speaking in riddles, and I was confused by how quickly he leapt to conclusions so I made my voice firm. “I heard about the birthday party, and after what happened to Dax last time, I was worried about the effect your appearance would have on him. All I want to know is whether you’re going to leave him alone.”
“You don’t have to worry,” Brendan promised with a significant glance, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. “Dax is safe. I plainly understand that he wants nothing to do with me no matter what I say. In fact, I’m on my way back to Missouri as of Monday.”
“Well good,” I ground out, perplexed by how easily Brendan was giving up. It seemed pointless to pretend I didn’t know about his family issues. “I’m sorry for you that this happened, but I’m not, if you catch my drift. It’s messing with Dax, and he’s done with you. I hope you get yourself worked out.”
“Like you or anyone really cares,” he spat. “Everything I ever counted on has been turned upside down. My life is in the junk heap, and to realize that I’ve truly lost Dax on top of…” He seemed to take an invisible deep breath, and some of his anger dissipated. “Ah, but I guess this is what I deserve.”
“No Brendan,” I disagreed. “Nobody deserves what your wife or your family or your town is putting you through. You have the right to be happy just like everyone else. I don’t know what your plans are, but there are laws against that kind of discrimination, even in Missouri.”
I heard him bark a short laugh. “You sound just like Dax. He told me the same thing. He said I should hire a lawyer and fight Sarah.” Brendan’s eyes clouded over and he hung his head. “No really, thanks for the suggestion.”
“You know your life is in Derrington,” I pointed out firmly. This was by no means an attempt to induce him to leave town. Okay, it was but that wasn’t all of it. “Your son is there, and whatever you decide to do, you can’t abandon him to your wife and your relatives. If Dax doesn’t love you, you have to let him go.”
“I know,” he nodded. “I have totally fucked up my life, but it’s my own damn fault. If only I had listened back when it made a difference, but I was stupid and thought I knew it all. That’s rich! I was the first boy in my family to attend college, much less graduate, and I wanted to return to town and show them up and act all smart. I never should’ve left Santa Bella. Letting Dax go was the biggest mistake I ever made. I was so inconsiderate of his feelings.”
Thanks be to the gods for his loss. “Yeah, well…” It was time for me to head out now that my errand was complete, but with the peril contained I took pity on him. “Your son is your first priority, so fight for custody. Be sure to take care of yourself and drive safely.” We shook hands.
I was almost to the curb when Brendan hailed me. “Hey, Capshaw.” I turned around to stare into his despairing blue eyes. “You don’t know just how lucky you are. Don’t ever take Dax for granted.”
Climbing into my truck I didn’t feel lucky, I didn’t feel anything except massively bewildered. Probably numb too. But there was someone who could explain it to me, and with calculated purpose I headed in the direction of Dax’s place, hoping he was home. He was going to give me some answers.
Of course he wasn’t there! I looked at my stereo clock. It was just after seven pm. Dax should have been off work by now, and I vaguely wondered if he was out with his new love interest. It would be dark in a little under an hour, and my rumbling stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten since a late-morning pit stop on the road. I made the decision to grab some food and devise a way to waste some time before driving back to check on him later.
I bought a Subway meatball sandwich and went home to eat it while I unpacked my gear and showered. Mom came to my bedroom door as I was throwing my dirty clothes in the hamper and draping the wet towel over it to dry.
“So I guess you heard all about the Brendan drama,” she suggested with a slow smile. Somehow the rumors must have gotten around. I hadn’t informed anyone of my reasons for coming home but it wouldn’t be hard to figure out.
“I’m just here making sure he leaves Dax alone,” I muttered darkly. “After what he pulled two years ago, he has no right to be hitting on him.”
“Brendan came over earlier in the week,” Mom sighed. “He wanted Dax’s new address but, as you know, we’d be the last people to put him in that kind of position. It took half an hour before your dad… uh… convinced him to leave.”
I smirked, just imagining it in my head. Brendan might be persistent, but he had nothing on Dad. My parents loved and looked out for all of us, but they were protective in the extreme of Dax. Especially after what the southern boy did to him two years before. They would fight anyone who tried to hurt him like lions guarding a cub.
“So what are your plans, Michael?”
“Make things right with him however I can.” I shrugged uncomfortably. “Dax supposedly has a new boyfriend.”
My mother glanced at me sharply. “Really?” She drifted off a moment in thought, knowing how this unpleasant news must make me feel. “Well, that’s a surprise. He hasn’t introduced us to anyone but we haven’t seen him very much lately either. His new job keeps him busy. But a new boyfriend is so… unexpected.”
No, it was more than unexpected. It felt like the end of my life.
By nine I had returned to Dax’s address, disappointed to find his carport space still empty. I waited for another thirty minutes, sweating lightly after the high temperatures of the day. I tried not to think about Dax with another man and listened to the crickets chirp while I played games on my cell phone. Just as I was about to give up, I saw two familiar headlamps on the road and his truck pulled into the complex at the far end. I was out and waiting by his front door before he had a chance to park.
Dax was wearing new black jeans and a barely wrinkled apricot-hued button down, open at the collar with the cuffs turned back a few, looking every inch the professional he now was. His blond hair was in a neat braid down his back, but his eyes looked fatigued and he was thin again. When he noticed me on his porch I glimpsed a pleased grin on his face that made me glow inside.
“Hi, stranger,” he called out in surprise as he approached me. “So it takes you three months to make time for a visit with us peasants?” His deep voice had a teasing but welcoming timbre, and I all but gaped.
“Hey!” I greeted back. We exchanged fist bumps as I surreptitiously checked him for signs of irritation and found none. Dax looked frankly glad to see me which was amazing after the way we had parted company.
He unlocked the door to his unit, beckoned me to enter and told me to get comfortable. His apartment was clean as always but had that stifled, oppressive atmosphere a small enclosure gets from being shut up all day. Dax dashed around throwing open windows and the glass patio door to let in the coastal breezes.
“I’ll be right back, bro.” Dax headed down the hall in the direction of his bedroom, and I wondered if my ears were deceiving me. Bro? A happy tingle flashed through me, turning my body warm.
Dax was back fast. Gone were the business clothes; he was now barefoot and sporting a pair of red and black board shorts over his narrow hips. He raised a black t-shirt over his head, the lean muscles in his arms and torso flexing as he shrugged it across his rugged shoulders. I could feel my dick swell in my own shorts in a salute to his stunning form and pulled my t-shirt down to hide it.
“Beer?” he asked. I nodded in a daze and all but drooled as his perfect ass glided past me. In the kitchen he lifted two ice-cold Coronas from the fridge, offering lime which I refused. We settled down on either end of the green leather couch as he turned to face me, only the low light from the entry ceiling fixture drifting in to cut the darkness.
“Were you here long?” Dax was full of apology when my face gave away the truth. “I’m sorry, Michael, you should’ve let me know you were coming down. On Thursday nights the clinic hosts a domestic violence class that I help Blaine with.”
Let him know after the angry way he’d rushed away from my folks’ house in May and his bare minimum mode of communication with me ever since? He had to be kidding. But his new attitude marked an indecipherable change in him I never would have expected. I was still trying to figure out where the usually suspicious Dax had vanished to and why this quiet, sociable man in front of me looked just like him. I exhaled a long breath and smiled, relieved that it was work and not a personal reason that kept me waiting outside his apartment.
“I’m good,” I urged to his apologies. I paused, gauging his reaction. “I spent time with Mom catching up on local gossip. Grant called me last weekend after Lauren’s party and told me Brendan was back.”
His face darkened and he clenched his fists. “Can you believe that jerk? Showing up here, like nothing he’s done in the past two years matters and then expecting to pick up where we left off.”
His vehemence caught me by surprise, but his irritation at Brendan proved the hypothesis Grant had put forth and relieved me. Perhaps he was genuinely over his ex after all. I wondered how far to push and whether I even wanted to revisit the last occasion we’d been together in May, but his comment piqued my interest. “Well Dax,” I said softly. “It took us four years to get back together.”
“True, but neither of us assumed the other would wait,” he observed wryly. “There’s a difference. As I recall, you wrote me off as straight… well, at least bi, and I thought you had given up on me entirely, remember?”
“And it goes to show how wrong we both were.” That wasn’t what I wanted to say, but it was safer than my far more presumptuous I’d never give up on you.
Yet, Dax was acting so oddly unruffled over my unannounced arrival that it was like we’d never fought that morning in my parents’ living room. That I didn’t have to trick him into being nice or beg forgiveness was flustering me. It was almost as if we had entered an alternate time warp, and I was terrified of it zipping shut because Dax would revert to pushing me away. However, the time for keeping secrets and hiding my behavior was done. I cleared my throat awkwardly and stared above his head at a finely detailed beach landscape in an oaken frame on the wall.
“The real reason I came down today was to confront Brendan,” I confessed. “I was worried after Grant’s call. I don’t like him threatening you.”
Dax’s eyes widened. “You drove nine hours just to tell him to leave me alone?” I nodded, knowing it was only partial truth, but we’d get to the rest later. “I can take care of myself, Michael,” he huffed, although there was no heat in his voice. It was more like he was trying to convince himself.
“I know,” I quickly agreed, running my finger through the condensation on the beer bottle. “The last thing I’d ever call you is weak. But you’ve needed looking after since the day I met you. Don’t forget who pulled you out of that mud puddle in high school.”
“For god’s sake, that was almost five years ago,” he groaned, falling against the back of the couch. He threw his arm over his eyes in embarrassment and flashed me half a smile. “You just won’t let me forget, will you.”
“Nope.” This man radiated such inner toughness if not the means to actually defend himself against those bigger than him, and my admiration brought up the second item of business and reminded me how Dax wasn’t mine. “So why isn’t your new boyfriend all up in arms over Brendan practically assaulting you in Lauren’s living room?”
He peeked at me and gave a baffled look. It was a definite déjà vu moment taking me back to the last time I’d made an incorrect guess about him. However, tonight I was relying on eyewitness testimony that he couldn’t wriggle away from, even if the possibility of competition over Dax was squeezing the life out of my heart.
“Boyfriend?” I reminded, raising my eyebrow, “as in the man who should have had your back and gone after Brendan for attacking you. That is, unless you didn’t mention last weekend to him.” And when Dax still didn’t rise to the bait, I threw up my hands in frustration. “Are you trying to tell me that you aren’t seeing anyone else?”
“Yes, I mean, no… um… I’m not,” he said blankly.
“Grant heard it differently…” I think we had officially passed into the Twilight Zone, one of those bizarre ‘been there, done that’ experiences I would have preferred to forego because of the hurt coiling its way around my spine. I looked at him askance.
“Boyfriend, Dax? That word came directly from your own mouth when you pushed Brendan off you. I know it’s not my business, but maybe you want to try that one again.”
Immediately, it was like a light went on his head and he grinned in relief. “Well, it is… kind of… I mean your business, but I don’t have a boyfriend, not really. Not in the way I made him think, except maybe… um.”
“Made him think?” In his muddled babbling I wondered what the hell a ‘not really’ boyfriend was and how it was ‘kind of’ my business. And then the haze in my brain partially lifted, leaving me astonished. “So you lied to him.”
Dax suddenly blushed and looked very nervous, unwilling to meet my eyes. “Not exactly… at least I hope not.”
“You hope not?” I finished my beer and set the bottle on the end table next to me, wondering if Dax could hear my heart pounding. “So if you weren’t lying, what did you mean? Exactly?”
Seconds of silence, followed by a quiet, almost reluctant: “That I’m impulsive too and sometimes irrational.”
“Okay,” I intoned, trying to encourage him because I was totally lost. “And?”
“I overreacted last time,” he admitted. It sounded like half an apology. “I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge.”
I was tugged back to the conversation I’d had with Brendan earlier and, combined with Dax’s account, something clicked and I began to put two and two together. Why Brendan had referred to me as a bodyguard and how I wasn’t to take Dax for granted. It certainly made sense with the friendly, laid back manner in which I was accepted into his apartment. Maybe I was luckier than I had originally thought. Maybe I was over-the-moon lucky.
“Apology accepted.” I was feeling a buzz that had nothing to do with alcohol. “Do you mean that when you said ‘boyfriend’ to Brendan you were talking about me?”
“Yes, Michael,” he repeated quietly with a quizzical glance that did nothing to hide his true feelings. I could see the depth of his love in his chocolate eyes, and every hope for us was written there.
I gasped, beginning to sense that I was, indeed, the luckiest bastard on the planet. “You’re telling me that despite everything I’ve done to try to run you off, we’re still together.”
“Well, if you’re going to put it like that…” He was joking to cut the tension which was suddenly unbearable.
“Oh, no, you aren’t getting away from me that easily,” I laughed. My heart began beating erratically and I felt lightheaded. I stared at Dax as my eyes misted. “I can’t believe you’re forgiving me without me having to get down on my knees and beg.”
Dax lowered his eyes and blushed. “I like you on your knees.” And then I blushed too. Oh please, don’t give me ideas. My shorts were already tight, and I knew if I looked down I’d see a wet spot near the waistband.
He cleared his throat. “I was wrong, Michael, to make a snap judgment like that. Maybe real trust between us will take time, but I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m the one who is sorry.” I stared at him hungrily, noticing the growing bulge in his own shorts and singing hallelujahs. “I was afraid, and I fucked up, Dax. But no more secrets, no more lies. I promise.”
His laugh was low and musical, and he shook his head. “You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t…”
Like I’ve said before, he is a god among mortals. “Why do you bother, Dax? What can you possibly see in me?”
He pretended to consider, a humorous grin escaping. “Aside from becoming instantly attracted to a hot, loyal, kind, single-minded and handsome man the day I met him and falling completely in love at first sight, nothing much.”
He paused a few seconds, sobering instantly. His face took on a pensive cast, and he added, “To be honest, what I see is your devotion to me and never admitting defeat on what we have together, no matter how much of an asshole I am. It used to make me angry the way I would shove you away and you kept coming back for more, but now I’m glad you did.”
I colored under his effusive praise, but Dax was getting pulled into some kind of funk where he almost wasn’t aware of me, and he became childishly wistful. “I need what everyone longs for- to be loved and know I’m important to someone I care about. My whole life since high school, it’s like I’ve been this trapeze artist in an aerial act, and there’s supposed to be a safety net below me, you know?”
He took a deep, shuddering breath that made his voice quaver, and he sounded jaded and disillusioned. “But every time I look down it gets farther away, and I can’t see it anymore. The more I search for it, the dizzier I get. I’m so tired of running from my past. Part of me wants to give in and stop fighting, but the other is waiting for someone to save me. Mostly, I’m simply weary, so fucking weary.”
I was over on Dax’s side of the couch before he finished speaking, and suddenly he was climbing into my lap like I was his lifeboat and he was tucking his feet beneath him. I pulled his head to my shoulder, stroking the blonde strands that had pulled free from his loosened braid and were now waving around his forehead.
“You don’t have to be alone or afraid any longer,” I whispered in his ear. “I’ve got you and can be strong for the both of us when you’re too tired to do it yourself. Let me be your safety net, Dax.”
He tried to laugh, but I could hear the hurt in his voice behind the giggle. “This is going to sound odd considering it’s you and me, but you are the only one I totally believe in not to screw me over.”
Odd maybe, but it silenced the noise in my head and for the first time in three months… no, make that four years… I felt complete peace. I propped my elbows on his shoulders, playing with his hair. “You know that I love you, man. You and only you.”
Dax nodded, looking deeply into my eyes. “That’s why I know I can forgive you. After all this time you’re still here. There’s this quote I heard a long time ago about love covering a multitude of sins. I’ve forgotten where it comes from, but it’s probably religious. It means I can forgive you when you fuck up because I love you too. I loved you even when I thought it was too late for us.”
Hearing Dax profess his feelings for me, knowing I was totally forgiven, was like a song in my heart, but actions spoke louder than words. We were finally alone together and I kissed him deeply. There was no hesitancy on his part as we savored each other around the beer on our tongues, grasping necks and backs to pull our bodies closer together and lip-locked in bliss.
Presently, Dax lifted his head away and straightened his tight board shorts over the well-defined swelling in his crotch as best he could. “Before we go any further, I need to tell you about… um… my past.”
“You don’t have to…” I protested huskily, knowing exactly what he meant. “I said in May that it isn’t important.”
“Please, Michael,” he begged, his face etched in regret. “I really need to do this, to be honest with you and with myself. It probably won’t make a difference in how you feel, but I don’t want any secrets between us.”
I nodded and Dax didn’t hold back. He explained about his former lovers, sometimes with anger flashing in his eyes, sometimes so hurt I could barely hear him but all of it laced with deep guilt. How lost he felt after our split with no means to sate his lust except by overcoming his natural shyness, forcing himself to go out and meet others in the bars and clubs. His discovery of dance was a shallow godsend which made getting noticed effortless and brought men to his side and, eventually, his bed. Sex without love, while gratifying his needs on a surface level and helping to distract his demons, only fed his emptiness.
Dancing, drinking, drugs, and if he lowered his standards to the place where he didn’t care what kind of danger he put himself in, so what! There was no balm to his growing self-loathing. He felt the way his personality changed when he tried to adjust to the superficiality of his life and let his needs take control of him. Even getting rid of the addictions didn’t end the pain and there were still times he woke up in the dark in a stranger’s bed, with no memory of how he got there.
I might have taken Dax’s trust, but Connor stole his innocence with a forced foursome that involved two other guys named Ray and Andy. Milo who told him he’d wait for him to get sober and then disappeared. Brendan, running off to Missouri to deny he was gay and get married, only to reappear two years later begging for another chance. And in between, so many others, men he didn’t remember because all each one represented was a warm body to cling to, and all he was to them was a hole to fill.
Lash upon verbal lash, Dax didn’t spare himself, and I made myself listen because if he could be so brutally honest I could damn well accept him for who he was. I cringed inside knowing I was the one whose callous behavior inflicted the first wounds that made all this necessary. By the time he was done, Dax was hugging me tightly, trying valiantly not to break down, and I was pressing gentle kisses into his silky hair.
“You’re alright, babe,” I murmured over and over. “It’s never been a problem for me. The only forgiveness you need is your own.”
Presently he lifted his head and wiped his eyes. “It wasn’t until a year ago that I fully grasped the damage I was doing to myself. I still can’t believe how much of a slut I was.”
“Well, you can be my slut any day of the week,” I soothed, kissing a tear off his cheek. “If it bothers you that much, we can always get tested tomorrow. I haven’t been with anyone for a long time, but let’s do it together.”
I knew Dax wouldn’t help but notice the disparity in our backgrounds, but he smiled bravely through it. He had already informed me of his regular testing schedule up until eight months ago when he went celibate waiting for me. That was humbling. “So how long are you here for?” He was ready to move on and easily changed the subject.
“All weekend,” I smirked, thumbing another errant tear. “I don’t have to return to work until Tuesday morning.”
“That’s three days,” he grinned in wicked anticipation, and I knew the crisis was over. “What should we do?”
“Stop talking,” I suggested in a low voice as I angled in to kiss him again.
The pressure of his lips on mine was tantalizing and sweet, and my mouth opened to let his tongue in to roughly play. Even the reddened graze from the pale stubble of his jaw against my throat turned me on. We didn’t break contact until our lungs reminded us of our need for oxygen, but the parting was brief. Lost in the satisfaction of the long kiss, I wound my hand into his loosened hair and tugged on it gently, making Dax whimper.
His fingers trailed up under the back of my shirt against my naked skin, raising goose bumps and almost tickling in its lightness, and my breath caught at the intense desire his touch raised in me. “You know what I want to do with you, my lover,” I whispered into his mouth, and he shivered. Like my past and my future colliding in the age-old dance of dominance but without any competition. Just crushing delight in each other’s company combined with the undeniable call to claim what was ours.
Dax shrugged out of his shirt, with mine following quickly, our lips barely losing the link, embracing skin on skin. His perfect chest glowed bare and bronze in the dim light as I feasted on his tan nipples in both the aesthetic and literal sense. My tongue circled and flicked the tempting nubs, biting them into hard, withered knots. I made my way around the pectoral muscles and down his sternum, and he tasted divine. It allowed me to revel in the opportunity to show how much he meant to me, and he voiced his agreement with small strangled moans of desire.
Dax began to respond by his own methods, massaging my scalp and shoulders and down my ribs. His lips and teeth settled over the tender spot between neck and shoulder, drawing blood to the surface and sucking hard enough to leave a good-sized mark. He certainly knew what he was doing; I was already rock hard and leaking, my flowing precum making the damp spot widen on the front of my shorts. His caresses took my need for him higher, with every sense finely attuned to him. His hoarse cries in my ears, the twitching of his body as his ass performed a private lap dance over my stiff tool, the taste of his salty skin- all made my desire soar.
His dick strained beneath the black and red fabric of his board shorts in a long, hard column, and I wanted it. I quickly untied the string holding the top edges together. Not surprisingly, he wore no underwear, and his hard-on popped out in all its curving magnificence. Falling hair curtained his face and hid his expression as he raised the firm globes of his ass off me so I could strip him. Shifting back and forth over me, he managed the shorts down his legs and kicked them off. I wrapped my arms around his thin frame and held him steady on his knees to nuzzle my head against his chest and tongue his navel.
Dax’s erection arced firm against his belly, jerking with his every movement and oozing precum. I took the cut staff in my hand and carefully brushed the satiny skin from hilt to tip and he groaned, thrusting to drive it into my fist. I let go and brought my hand to my lips to taste his essence, and he moaned again. I was instantly overwhelmed by his salty-tangy taste and musky smell. Hastily gazing up into his lust-glazed eyes, I knew exactly what he wanted, and I lifted him back and sideways to straighten him out on the leather couch. I slid between his strong thighs, kissing my way down Dax’s body, tracing my tongue over his muscles and into the crevices in between until my head was level with his hips.
Leaning in, I lapped at the head of his stiff cock welling shiny-wet with drops of his fluid. Obtaining it straight from the source was a singular pleasure, and I wanted more. I rested the tip between my lips, suckling like a baby to draw out more precum, and Dax canted towards me, hissing, “Oh, take it, love.”
Sealing my mouth tight around his spongy cockhead, I sucked and laved, passing over the hole and down the vein in strokes that made his hips rock and whimpers pass through his lips. I slowly began to bob up and down while my hand moved in rhythmic tandem on his shaft. His dick was hot and alive, solid like velvety steel in my mouth, and my tongue darted around the flared ridge to find the sensitive spots that would drive him wild.
Slowly I worked my way lower on his long pole until my throat muscles were massaging the head. He was bucking and writhing against the cushion, and it electrified me to be giving Dax such pleasure. He entwined his hand into my hair, holding but not pushing me into his groin. His moans were like sweet music, and I knew his orgasm was approaching fast. This was my cue to change the focus up a bit, and with my other hand I tenderly cupped his balls to roll them in their sac and lightly pull. His breathing hardened into panting gasps, his legs thrashed beneath me and I could feel him beginning to lose control.
“I-I’m going to…” he moaned. “Please, oh... oh god.”
I hummed assent and redoubled my efforts on his cock, slurping to make my lips an unyielding vacuum. Dax frantically thrust into me four more times with a shrill cry of “Michael” before his back sharply bowed. His dick briefly swelling, he spurted pulses of warm cream in quick succession into my mouth, the grip on my head turning painful as he peaked. I gladly swallowed his nectar and only let a few drops overflow to escape down my chin before cleaning him completely.
Resting my head on his thigh, I watched his chest rise and fall in rapid wheezes that subsided as his sweat-slick body stilled. He relaxed back into the leather and smiled dazedly, sated. I crawled up the couch and took his flushed face in my hands, staring deep into his half-lidded bedroom eyes just before we kissed again, sharing his flavor.
“Good idea,” Dax whispered seductively when we broke apart minutes later. He was distractedly fondling my neck and shoulders, working his fingers into my hair. “The no talking, I mean.”
I smiled at him and we cuddled and kissed. I was still hard, an affliction Dax was perfectly aware of as he moved his thigh over my crotch. My breath caught in a gasp but the contact wasn’t enough, and presently, he shoved me into an upright position and rose to kneel between my legs. Eyes glowing in appreciation fastened on mine as he rested his hand against the side of my face and leaned in to suck an earlobe into his mouth. I felt a nudge of corresponding desire zip through me. I nuzzled into him, proving my trust by opening my body to his gestures as if he was a vampire out for my blood and I was his willing victim eagerly awaiting the strike of his fangs. His mouth took the advantage, moving across my jaw, down my neck to the line of my collar bone, tracing it with gentle pecks until he reached the hollow of my throat where he marked me again. I moaned deeply in longing.
“Oh Michael,” he husked, sweeping his spread fingers across the sprinkles of auburn that grew sparsely between my pecs. Swiftly, he began to massage the planes and valleys of my chest as he rolled the nipple under his fingers. His head dipped until I felt the gentle pinch of his teeth. This elicited another sharp gasp on my part, but it was nothing compared to my instant response when he sucked it into his mouth. I moaned and thrashed.
Dax was getting fully into my pleasure, practically climbing into my lap again, and his shallow breathing proved he was turned on just as much as I was. His beautiful cock was already hard again; I could feel it stirring against my abs and leaving a sticky trail of quickly-cooling precum. I cast my eyes down to steal a quick glance at it. My own thickened member was trapped inside my cargo shorts, and I swiveled my groin to try and free it. Dax was not so completely lost that he didn’t recognize the action, and he grinned provocatively.
“I want to taste you too,” he announced, quiet in his intent when his hand palmed flatly against my erection and moved down to tease my balls. With a determined thrust of my hips I shivered. Stepping away from me, he frowned at my half-dressed state and grabbed me by the belt loops to pull my hips forward to line me up at the edge of the couch. He went to work without another word, ripping the worn leather from the belt buckle and gripping the waistband to yank at the button and zipper of my cargo shorts. I lifted to release the fabric, and they slid off, complete with boxers, in one quick motion.
Dax dropped to his knees and stared at my dripping tool hungrily. His fingertips floated through my pubes to surround the base, and I made a sound low in my throat at his touch, watching his head tilt in and down in a slow, agonizing shift. His open mouth engulfed all of me, his tongue everywhere on my rigid organ. The talent of that small muscle was soon made apparent, and I couldn’t help but cry out. He worked the underside of my penis as his mouth took in more, squirming around the ridge on the ride up and diving into my the hole to suck at my precum. He played me as only a true expert can, like a man who loved sucking cock and wanted to please me in every way.
Shudders raced down my spine when he hollowed his cheeks to make a hot, wet, tunnel of rapture. He swallowed until he was sliding the head down his throat with ease and I was moaning piteously. His hands were not idle either, cupping my sac and rolling my testes around between his fingers in a gentle massage. The sensation was amazing, and the powerful urge to cum was suddenly tingling in my stomach, making my toes curl. Groaning deeply, I pushed Dax off me before it was too late.
“Inside you,” I gasped in desperation. “I want to finish inside you.”
With one last kiss on my cock, he rose fluidly to his feet, his sinuous ass undulating down the hall to quickly return with a bed pillow, a large, fluffy towel, lube and a foil-wrapped condom. Ogling my naked man, I watched his rosy cock sway proudly, leading the way back into the dimly lit living room, and my own gave another lurch of approval.
“See something you like?” He caught my stare and grinned triumphantly.
My eyes lost their focus, and I found myself growling, “Not just something- everything. Get over here, babe.”
With that, Dax sauntered to the side of the couch to drop the pillow against the flat leather arm and spread the bath towel over it. Bending at the hips, he settled on the raised surface, his bare ass in the air and legs spread. His chocolate pools smoldered in a ‘come-hither’ invitation. My own eyes widened with appreciation of what was being offered, and I didn’t waste any time joining him.
Taking the lube and condom from his hand, I set them aside for the time and crouched down behind him on the floor. I used soft strokes of my hand to caress the nearly hairless skin of his inner thighs in long loops from knee to crotch. Kissing his hips and lower back, my teeth nibbled on the smooth hollow right above the curve of his ass. I took the occasion to lick those supple cheeks, and his hips writhed. My fingers traced a line down his crack from his tailbone, spreading the smooth spheres to reveal his tight, pink rosebud.
Without hesitation, I leaned in and swiped the wrinkled indentation with my tongue, making it pulse. Dax gave a harsh cry and arched up, nearly coming off the armrest. Thus encouraged by his reception, I applied eager swabs to gently circle around it, teasing at the entrance with wet warmth as it began to loosen. My tongue darted in like a small homing missile, and his sultry taste was of musk and spices. I savored both his flavor and the smooth feeling of his delicate entrance, continuing the assault, stretching and preparing the way. I loved the sounds he made, his sexy little moans and panting squeaks, and his death-grip on the sofa cushion turned his knuckles white.
I kept plunging into Dax’s ass, lapping at his slackening pucker until his keening cries, shuddering body and buckling knees indicated he was too close to the edge. Much as I loved the thought of the delightful insanity my attention was pushing him towards, I didn’t want to take him this way. Lubed fingers slid in to replace my tongue, first one and then two and three as I slowly opened him up, tagging his prostate to more hoarse cries. By the time I was ready to enter him, Dax was begging frantically.
“Please, please, please, now.”
I stood and quickly sheathed myself with the condom and slicked lube all around it. Positioned behind him, I lined up the head of my throbbing erection and pressed it against his opening. It popped through the ring of muscle, and I halted the forward motion to give Dax time to adjust. I heard him groan and hoped it wasn’t in pain.
“Dax,” I gasped as the tight constriction of his bud fluttered around me. “Are you alright?”
“Don’t just lay there,” he replied softly. “Move, damn it!”
Move I did. My dick slid home, pubes to ass with no resistance at all, and I grunted in bliss as his torrid channel engulfed me and pulled me in. Instinct took over, and I could feel my cock sinking deeply into him in long glides every time I pulled almost out. Dax began to groan and twist under me, rotating his hips to bring me in direct contact with his hot spot. A wild jump on his part gave proof that I’d located it, and I aimed for that nub, thrusting over it repeatedly. My body tingled as I began to pound into him hard and he drove his hips back to meet me.
Sweat slicked the skin between our thighs and across his back. My fingers played connect-the-drops along the curvature of his spine and circled his laterals to stroke him, and I put all the love I could into my caresses. “You feel so... oh, shit... you. Oh, Dax... tight…” I knew I was babbling, but I didn’t care.
He responded to my words by finding my hand and pulling me down, and I stretched out full-length over him. Lifting his head, he angled sideways and kissed me hard, his tongue colliding with mine breathlessly. I could feel the blooming of warmth against my skin, and when I opened my eyes I saw that Dax had gone into a full body-blush, his damp hair plastered wetly against his face and neck. Trapped underneath him, his manhood was pushed against the looped cotton of the towel with every drive, and I could feel him humping desperately into the friction.
As I felt the familiar rippling through my torso, I switched to quick plunges; lights were starting to flash behind my eyes signaling my impending orgasm. I would shoot soon, and Dax knew it. “Almost there, love,” he moaned. I dropped my hand to envelop his cock, jacking him with a steady grip.
“Babe, cum for me.” I stared into his eyes, fighting to stay coherent enough to watch the burst of ecstasy flow over his face, but then my thighs and abdomen began clenching. All I was aware of was the fierce pull of my balls as they ascended and the torrent of warm semen travelling through my cock to spill into the condom, and I convulsed in sudden abandon.
“Dax,” I cried out.
Dax’s eyes rolled up as he followed me in his release and he frantically contracted around me. The muscles of his body went rigid, his groin helplessly bucking to spew his own cum in white streams into my fingers and the towel. “I love you,” he chanted, throwing his head back against my shoulder. And then he went still as his anus continued to squeeze every last drop out of me.
“I love you too.”
We were returning from paradise and lay entangled together. I loved this part of making love- the coming down as our bodies cooled, the beating of our hearts returned to normal and we learned how to breathe again. The most sacred element was the way Dax allowed me in to become part of him, to share thoughts that went beyond speech as we swapped sweat, cum and spit and he gave me his complete confidence. It was so humbling after all we’d been through together.
I could barely keep to my feet. Dax reached behind us to grasp me to him before I slid bonelessly off his back. He turned his head and gave me a soft kiss and a smile. Carefully righting myself on shaky feet, I could feel my dick softening, and I reluctantly pulled out of him to withdraw the condom and dispose of it.
Coupled with my long drive from Palo Alto plus our round of very satisfying sex, I was wearier than I could remember. I felt as if I’d run miles. Dax looked equally tired, and I gingerly unbent him from the arm of the couch and wiped him with the towel. I pulled him against my chest, and he nestled in contentment. “Bed,” he murmured, flicking his tongue to taste the tang of my sweat. “Sleep.”
“Come on, Dax,” I coaxed, laughing and pulling him into his bedroom. His king-sized bed looked welcoming, and I flung back the comforter and sheets to let him fall in. Vaguely, I remembered to tuck the sheet around his body before climbing over and stretching out next to him. We were asleep before our heads touched the pillows.
The wafting scent of brewing coffee awoke me the next morning, making my mouth water and pulling me out of a very pleasant dream. Something about Dax and me kissing in a park, but I wasn’t so into the depths of it yet to get completely hard. When I opened my eyes I looked around the masculine bedroom with its black furniture and pale green accents. It took me a moment or two to remember last night and notice that I was alone in bed. Then I looked at the clock on Dax’s bedside table where the time said 6:45. I came fully awake, movement beyond the bedroom door pulled ajar, and sat up, letting the sheets pool around my naked hips.
I sighed in utter contentment. Dax had decided to forgive me, and everything was right in my world. In fact, it was better than right, it was near perfect, a miracle. I hadn’t lost him to some new, anonymous boyfriend, and Brendan had promised to disappear from his life- again.
As long as I could be smart and responsible enough to not ruin it between us! I decided that no, the days of dumbass Michael were over forever. I was going to learn to man up and be the partner he needed, to prove my trustworthiness and love. I would communicate with my Dax at every turn and never take him for granted. Every single step involving him would engage a solid discussion first because I had too much to lose. We were compatible in so many ways, shared too much history, good and bad, and there would never be anyone else for me. Never!
Now that I was more alert, I could hear music playing in the kitchen, and I assumed Dax was listening to a CD or a radio station as he cooked. I heard him approach, and he nudged the door open with his foot as he entered, carrying two cups of coffee. Dax walked in wearing gray sleep pants and nothing else. My breath hitched at the sight of his strong. lean torso, but what caught my attention the most was his warm baritone voice, singing along with the words to a song that was much more audible with the door fully open. It was Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden.
I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
“Good morning, love,” he greeted me cheerfully, setting the mugs on the nightstand.
He bent over for a kiss which I willingly gave, letting my fingers trail down his naked chest. “Nothing like being awakened by a big dose of sexy” I teased. “What’s the occasion of the good mood?”
“Hmm,” he cocked his head to the side, smiling happily but with an expectant gleam in his eyes. “I woke up to my own beautiful man in my bed. And he’s still here. And just like the song lyrics say, I love him truly, madly deeply.”
“I love you truly, madly, deeply too.” And for the rest of my life.
His sweetness was contagious and I grinned, noting his lack of clothes. My morning wood instantly noticed too. His hair was still damp from a shower but the view I enjoyed the most was the sight of his thin treasure trail disappeared into the loose waistband of the soft cotton. I wanted nothing more than to beg him to come back to bed, but it was Friday, and he still had to go to his job. It seemed odd to imagine Dax as a professional working man after all our years in college, but there it was.
“I’m glad you’re awake,” he smiled. He went to his dresser and rifled through a brass dish on top, returning with a single key which he held between two fingers. “This is to my apartment. I have to get ready and leave for the clinic soon, but help yourself to anything you need. Take a shower. There are towels in the cabinet in the hall.”
I accepted the key with gratitude, using his close proximity to my advantage and pulling on his hand to drag him down to my level for a passionate kiss. Dax didn’t resist, much to my approval. He wrapped his arms around my neck and folded his legs to sit on my lap, facing me.
“So you went to see Brendan yesterday,” he coaxed. “He’s called me all week, being a pest and begging me to change my mind. He didn’t seem to comprehend that I’m not in love with him anymore. I found someone better.”
I smiled at that. “Better, huh? Alright, I’ll go with that.” I sobered, considering another outcome. “All of us, Brendan included, are stubborn people. When Grant told me about last weekend and how it looked, I wanted to rush down here and punch his face in. Hearing what he did at Lauren’s drove me nuts.”
“Admit it,” he challenged with a soft smile. “You didn’t like Brendan hitting on me.”
“No, I didn’t.” My voice was certain. “I learned two years ago that he’s ruthless when it comes to you, and his sudden appearance in Santa Bella scared me. Then Grant told me you had a new boyfriend…”
“…Which turned out to be an old boyfriend- you,” he chuckled. “I know a good thing when I see it and can stand up for myself when necessary.”
His loving words made my eyes watery but I vowed not to get over-emotional and cry in front of Dax. “I will never doubt you again, nor will I give you reason to doubt me. You’re mine, you know, and I intend to keep you that way even though I really don’t deserve you, Dax.”
He laughed. “You got that right. But all’s forgiven.”
I leaned into him and took his mouth with mine. Our lips feasted on each other, and my dick went rock hard under the sheets. I felt the slow crawl of fabric making its way down my abdomen and glanced down to see his hardening tool trying to create a tent in his low pants. A touch of whimsy hit me, and I wrapped my fingers around his erection, pumping it slowly through the soft material and making him moan.
“I wish you could skip work,” I mumbled playfully, “but I know how important your internship is so I won’t ask.” With the tiny amount of encouragement I was employing, his cock was fully erect, the top of the head peeking above the waistband. I released it from the confines, and his pants slid down his hips. My fingers caressed his balls. I continued to manhandle him, drenching my fingers with his precum and stroking easily over the mushroom cap and down his shaft.
He made a hissing sound through his teeth and thrust his rigid, weeping penis into my accommodating hand. His eyes clouded over in lust. “It’s so t-tempting, love. But… but I… I have… have… to… g-go in… to… Aaaah!”
Enthralled and exhilarated over the enjoyment I could give my lover by sheer touch alone, I continued to manipulate his hot flesh, sliding around it with the help of his natural lube. His dick responded by dripping like a faucet, giving me more precum to work with.
“I… have to… to go to work,” he insisted, but his voice had dropped to a low-octave whisper that wouldn’t convince anyone. “The clinic… to… oh… oh shit, you… damn!” His head dropped back, and he started to pant and squeeze the life out of my shoulders.
“I could always stop,” I teased and made ready to let go. “Let you beat off by yourself or take a cold shower.”
“N-no, you devil,” Dax grunted, trying to joke. “Don’t stop.” His fingernails were digging into my skin.
“I’m the devil?” I chuckled, kissing down his neck and sucking in just above his collarbone to leave a mark. “Look who is pinching the hell out of me.”
“S-so-sorry.” He shook his head, almost past the ability to form words. His breath sped up into keening little gasps. “M-Michael,” he begged me hoarsely. “Need you... in me.”
Desperation was screaming from every pore of Dax, and how cruel would it be for his boyfriend to abandon him in his moment of need. I helped him stand and remove his pants. My eyes bugged out at the swollen, dusky mauve thickness bursting from his trimmed blonde bush. He was nearly whining in wanton need when I steadied him by grabbing hold of his arms. My dick was like stone and leaking, every beat of my heart pulsing down the visible vein.
He pointed a shaky finger to the drawer in the nightstand as I reached to secure pillows. “Lube and condoms.”
I retrieved the items, quickly unrolling the latex down my shaft and squirting a goodly amount of lube in my hand to warm it. I groaned loudly when I lubed up. We weren’t going to last long.
I flattened myself against the black sheets, tugging on him. “All set,” I breathed. “I want you on top.”
Needing no further invitation, Dax straddled me and crouched over my lap, breathing deeply and grasping at control. I held my shaft straight up as his ass slowly sank down, centering himself directly on me until the flared head popped inside. It came to neither of our surprise that he was still loose and mostly open, and it was with a minimum of discomfort that he slammed down to the hilt to fully impale himself on me. For a few seconds he held still, refocusing. I felt every surrounding inch, and we groaned simultaneously.
Using the strong muscles in his legs, Dax began to move, rolling his hips into me. Oh god, what delight to be inside him! My cock was captured by his taut warmth, and I took a quavering breath. We found a pleasing rhythm with him fully in control, leaning forward and placing his palms on my chest to steady himself. I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him hard as he bounced over my groin. I could tell I was tagging his nerve center with every upward thrust because he was transported by the lovemaking, making small mewling noises that got louder and more unrestrained with each second.
Dax lowered his upper body to lie practically on top of me, holding me in his arms, his cock trapped between our sweating bodies. He placed his forehead against my cheek and buried his face in my neck. He cried out his passion continuously, riding me hard as I thrust up into him.
I felt myself coming apart with pleasure, Dax’s ass a scorching, silken burrow, the inferno building as I hit his sweet spot with every snap of my hips. One hand caressed the back of his neck, fingers trailing through his long hair, the other absently playing with the fuzz on his forearm and raising goose bumps. Friction, heat, sweat and a million small nerve endings all conspired to take us to the edge of the abyss and drop us in.
Dax bit down on my shoulder when he finally lost it, his whole body stiff and contorting. “Oh… oh Michael, I’m… aaahhh fuck,” he groaned, cumming forcefully and arching away from me, rapture chasing around his face. His semen spurted between our torsos in gooey ribbons as he thrashed in frenzy.
His hole gripped me hard, milking my dick relentlessly. Without warning, my orgasm blasted through me with the force of a tornado and I was ejaculating, my mind shredding under the assault of such bliss. I choked out a scream from long ago that my soul continued to cherish and nurture. “Together forever, babe!”
The silence of our afterglow was deafening. Above our ragged breathing and quieting heartbeats, Dax lay quietly in my arms, no expression on his face other than a dazed look. Neither of us had said those words in four years, at least not out loud or to each other. If they were cursed, by uttering them I had just bespoke the kiss of death to our commitment. But they emboldened me, and when I finally dared to glance at Dax, his eyes were boring into mine.
Maybe my apprehension shone through and he took pity on me. “Together forever,” he affirmed. Dax smiled and wrapped himself around me to nuzzle my neck. “I always loved you, you know. Even if I wasn’t aware of it myself.”
I held him lovingly and grinned down at him. “You gave a damn good try at misleading me. But I can’t complain about the final outcome.”
If we had had the time, we would’ve spent the morning snuggling, but Dax had to get to work and was now running late. He took another quick shower alone to rinse off and shuffled into his jeans and a navy blue button down. I braided his hair and shoved a piece of toast into his mouth as he walked out the door. This home-and-family camaraderie was new for me but something I could definitely get into with him.
I cleaned up from breakfast and took my own shower, redressing in my clothes from the day before. The morning was warming up as I drove home, repacked and threw my gear into the back of my car. My next stop was my mother’s real estate office where I received greetings and requests for life updates from her coworkers. Mom herself, noting the grin on my face, regarded me with a bemused and affectionate smile.
“I guess I don’t need to ask where you were last night,” she scolded gently, touching a tender spot on my throat. Blushing, I remembered the hickey visible above my collar that was in the near-new stage of healing and admitted staying the night at Dax’s.
“Although a phone call or text would have been nice, you know, Michael. Your father and I like to be kept informed and not have to worry that you’re dead in some ditch.”
“I’m sorry,” I meekly apologized, and she asked how life was going with Dax. I stated the obvious, that he had forgiven me- again- and we were working things out between us. “Do you mind if I spend the weekend with him?”
Mom snorted in amusement. “Like I could forbid it. Just don’t be a stranger, and come around to see us. I think Dax already volunteered for some outside chores tomorrow at the house. You two can stay for dinner.”
I promised we would and gave her a kiss before taking off. Hey, did I say I have the best mom in the world?
The difference a little forgiveness makes!
Letting go all of the rubbish between Michael and me filled me with an incredible calm. I felt weightless for the first time in years, and the best part was how remarkably easy our reconciliation turned out to be. I guess I shouldn’t have been so astonished; after all, the changes Michael had to make were tiny compared to my own. It was my selfishness and pride I had to let go of, my expectation of flawlessness when I was so imperfect myself. He had already apologized profusely on his part; it was easy to accept and believe him but much harder to suppose he could forgive me. It felt damn good to finally demolish the wall between us, allow him his need to protect me and meld so seamlessly back into each other’s lives.
I had barely arrived at the clinic to begin my day when Michael texted me to inquire if he could stay the weekend at my place. Did he really think he had to ask? I sensed a hesitancy from him to take anything for granted between us, especially after his ‘together forever’ comment in bed. Even if good sex and strong emotion pulled it from him, it wasn’t that I didn’t trust the commitment behind the slipped phrase, but the memories they resurrected weren’t all good ones.
The time had come to let the old hurts go and create new memories. Michael, being his loveable, loose-lipped and well-intentioned self, would need me to make allowances because he wasn’t going to change overnight. Whatever his objectives, there would be times he would assume or misinterpret. If I could see past my own mistakes to recognize that to be defective was to be human, maybe I could curb my irritation so I would stop overreacting. My constant disappointment and anger was the deal-breaker here, much more than his blemishes. He was the tolerant man who refused to give up on me.
Another thing. As temporary as it was, sharing the next three days in cohabitation meant finding out if a long-term relationship was even possible between us. It would be a test for us after four years apart to discover if either of us had developed any irritating quirks the other would find impossible to live with. Michael and I needed to devote essential time to have an actual conversation and discuss our future. We were adults in our early twenties now living on our own, not teens in his parents’ house and abiding by their rules.
Trying to keep my mind off Michael, I was sitting in my office organizing hand-outs for the Monday night domestic violence class when he called me on my cell.
“Hey, babe.” His enthusiasm reached out to me through the phone. “God, Dax, it feels good to call you that.”
I set the stack of papers down and grinned. “I love hearing it too.”
Michael announced that he’d picked up his belongings from his parents’ house and had visited his mother at her business. “Mom’s already guessed that I won’t be around the house much even when I’m in town. She mentioned that you made plans to help Dad with yard work tomorrow? She invited us over to eat dinner with them too.”
“Sounds like fun.” I thought about four years prior when my relationship with Michael had been such a secret. I think both of us realized at the same time that, with the exception of the night following our graduation party and the mild teasing we’d put up with from his parents, this was the first time we were coming out as a couple.
“So you’re not worried about shocking everyone when we’re holding hands and kissing in front of them?” I joked.
“They might as well get used to it,” Michael pointed out happily. “If we’re a couple, we should definitely act like one and start with family first. So I was thinking. Why don’t you come up with something you want to do tonight?”
“Uh… you mean, like a date?” This was intriguing.
“If you want... yeah, a date. Even though I’m only in town until Monday and don’t want to share you yet.”
Well, he’d offered and I was eager for a night out. I suggested Cobbles. “Remember our last time there when we took Grant?”
It seemed like a long time ago. That was the weekend I’d given up going out by myself because I fell back in love with Michael. I knew he didn’t get the whole dance scene, but he’s something of a novice. In any case, we had the whole weekend together, and we were going to try to act like a normal couple, out to our friends and family.
I think he was regretting giving me the choice, but he didn’t complain or reject my idea. “Okay. So I’ll see you at noon.”
At lunch Michael met up with me to grab a quick bite to eat and go to the community clinic for testing. Both of us were eager to bareback, and it couldn’t happen soon enough. The blood draw was a simple procedure, and Michael signed papers allowing me to collect his results the following week since he’d be back in Palo Alto by then. We were almost positive that neither of us was carrying any bad germs, but it pays to be safe. We parted with a quick kiss, me to return to work and him to pop in on his dad and say hello.
“Lucy, I’m home,” I said in my best Ricky Ricardo imitation as I walked through my front door five hours later, instantly catching the tantalizing aroma of tomatoes, garlic and spices in the air.
Michael poked his head around the wall from the kitchen, pretending to glower. “So what are you saying- that I’m the woman in this relationship? Not hardly!”
He couldn’t hide the huge grin breaking over his face so we both knew I was teasing. Shirtless due to the warmth of the stove despite the open door and windows, he walked over to greet me in the living room with a deep, very passionate kiss that was all tongue and nibbled on my bottom lip. I licked a drop of sweat off his neck. Yeah, I was instantly forgiven for the Lucy joke.
“Someday, Dax, I need to tell you how handsome you look all dressed up for work and how proud I am of you.”
I rested my arms on top of Michael’s shoulders and kissed his chin, turning pink from the praise. “Okay, you do that. Then someday I’ll say how coming home every night to you rocks my world, love.” My gaze slid down his toned, half-naked body in lecherous appreciation to settle on his growing package that his shorts could not hide. “And you are definitely no girl, thank god for that.”
“Hmm,” Michael purred, grinding his groin into mine. “Maybe I have some 'splainin' to do, Ricky, or do you want to skip going out and stay home so you can ravish me in bed?”
I cupped Michael’s ass and pulled him closer into me. “I want to take my sexy man out to show him off and then I want to come home to ravish him in bed.”
His looked at me with his golden eyes and shook his head, whining. “And you say I’m cruel.”
“It will do us good to get out and have some fun together.” I laughed at his impatience. “We can work up an appetite for later. Speaking of appetites, what’s for dinner?”
“Chicken cacciatore over shell pasta, salad and garlic bread,” he announced proudly when I sniffed in appreciation.
“You cook?” I raised my eyebrow at him with an amused smile.
To be honest, this was news to me. When we lived at home, the extent of our food preparation skills was shoving something frozen into the microwave, reheating dinner leftovers or making an occasional sandwich. Michael was an expert at pouring milk over his cereal. My specialty had been TGI Friday’s jalapeño poppers baked in a 450° oven for eleven minutes, but I’d expanded my repertoire since then out of necessity.
He looked sheepish and shrugged. “I cook a little, but the chicken and sauce came from Mom’s freezer. She told me to pick it up for dinner. The salad is bagged greens and sliced tomato. I boiled the pasta and heated the bread.”
Michael was looking at me like a puppy that had performed a trick and wanted his reward, and it was gratifying to come home to a hot meal that I didn’t have to make. I gave him another kiss and said, “Sounds good, love. Let’s eat if it’s ready.”
The table was set, and Michael had me sit down while he served the food. It was delicious, and I gently teased him about not ruining the pasta which put a playful sulk on his face. I even managed to locate a bottle of decent quality cabernet sauvignon to go with the saucy chicken dish. We made small talk and he asked about my day at the clinic. Cleaning up together and loading the dishwasher, the chores felt comfortably domestic.
It was getting close to eight and we had retired to the living room to sit next to each other on the couch, my head in his lap while he played with my hair. Michael loved my hair for some reason. Sipping the last of the wine, we discussed the rest of the weekend aside from spending Saturday with Mom and Dad. Such a difference four years made after being so carefully hidden from his family and the other students at school. I wasn’t hiding anymore. I was proud of Michael and wanted to be seen with him.
“So what do you say we start getting ready to go?” I suggested presently.
Michael pouted, and I could see he was regretting his idea. “Dancing, huh?”
“You’re the one who offered,” I murmured.
“We could hide out here all weekend,” Michael suggested hopefully, stroking a stray lock off my forehead.
Part of me understood his desire to keep us all to ourselves and our new relationship private, and yet, I didn’t want to fall back into the old ways of being eighteen in which all we made time for was each other. Yeah, back then, we were horny high school guys who would’ve rather indulged in sex than hang out with friends. It was my own fault I had been so tightly locked in the closet that Michael was unable to share us on a more public level. Looking back, I felt this was one of the downfalls of our relationship, and yet, I hadn’t left us any options.
That was about to change. Not only had I promised my strong back to Dad at home the next day, but celebrating with Lauren and our friends the Saturday before had raised awareness that summer was almost over and we had barely laid eyes on each other. I’d formerly agreed to meet the gang at the local park on Sunday at noon to play baseball. By promising Michael to devote all of our remaining down time unwinding around the apartment with him- most likely in bed- I convinced him to go out with me. He grudgingly accepted my reasoning, knowing it wasn't fair to ignore my commitments.
“Okay,” he pouted, leaning over me with a sexy leer. He traced the outline of my dick in my jeans with soft but insistent fingers and leaned in to whisper in my ear tauntingly. “Just so you know, Dax, when we're here at your place, you're mine. All mine.”
I shivered, feeling my cock harden under his touch and loving Michael's domination. “All in good time,” I reminded him, ghosting a light kiss over the scar on his jaw. I knew where he was trying to lead us. My bedroom beckoned, and I chose to ignore it for now. With a chuckle and a quick peck, I stood and whisked up our wine glasses to take into the kitchen for rinsing. “Let's get ready to go out first.”
We debated on the idea of taking showers, knowing that the club dancing would make us hot and sweaty. Michael said he needed one after cooking so he didn’t smell like an Italian restaurant and talked me into it, suggesting I go first. I stripped quickly and stepped into the large glassed-in garden shower, one of the big reasons I chose to live in this particular apartment complex, because it had two showerheads and could easily hold three people. Adjusting the water temperature to slightly cooler than I could stand, I ducked under the spray. The falling wetness felt wonderful running over the tired muscles of my back and shoulders, and I slicked my hair back from my face. Steam filled the bathroom, and I let go of the worries of the day.
I heard the outer door open, followed by the soft snick of the shower enclosure entrance, and Michael was grinning at me through the mist, naked. The glow of the recessed lighting made the reddish blond hairs shine on his tanned skin. “I came to join you. I thought we could save some time.” He tried to look innocent and failed.
Giving up, I linked my arm through his and welcomed Michael inside. Sporting a massive erection that jutted from his auburn curls, it didn’t take a genius to quickly figure out what he was… uh… up to. There seemed to be no way to avoid his single-minded purpose, and honestly, it didn't take much convincing for me to agree to what he was offering. I knew what was going through Michael's mind; he needed me, needed to have my love and acceptance continually proven to him because he was afraid it would disappear like the steam swirling around us.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and neck, enjoying the sensation of taut, wet skin, and slanted up into a deep kiss. He opened to let my tongue in to taste his, and I caught the still-tangy savor of the wine on his lips. I felt my nestled cock roaring to life against him as we stood there for some minutes absorbed in each other, rivulets of water pouring off our bodies. Warm fingers on my hip drew me closer to him as he reached between our bodies and grasped our heated dicks together. He pumped them with practiced hands, soap and precum easing the way, my arousal rising quickly with the friction of hand and corresponding cock and making me groan.
“Oh yes, Michael.” I drew in a harsh breath through my nose. “Feels so good.”
“You always feel good,” Michael husked against my mouth. “Mmm…”
Oh god. Relearning sex with Michael was a joyous, sensuous experience. Maybe I was already over-excited, but I was nearly there, just a few seconds from ecstasy. From the way he was writhing in my embrace, I could sense that he was close too. I dropped my arms, cupping his balls with my hand and gently tugging on the sac while my other hand reached around him to enjoy some ass play. My index finger circled his hole and sank into him.
It was enough to send Michael over the edge, and he cried out against my cheek, ropes of his cum splattering on our abdomens before mingling with the water and washing away. My semen churned in my balls as they drew up inside, and watching him shoot tripped me. “Michael, Michael,” I chanted wildly. A strong orgasm ripped through me, and my release painted our stomachs and joined his to drip down the drain.
We were both weak, and only by holding onto each other and leaning against the tile kept us from sliding fluidly into a heaped puddle on the floor and becoming part of the shower. Kissing and cuddling, we reminded ourselves with soft-spoken words how much in love we were and what this communion meant to us.
Some minutes later, we began to recover. “Turn around,” Michael commanded. He picked up the body wash, squirted a dollop in his palm and began to wash my back with the scented gel. Firm hands squeezed and massaged from trapezoids down to my glutes, and I relaxed into his hands. Later, I performed the same task on him and moved around to his other side, sliding across his pectorals, around his belly button and down his thighs. I avoided his cock which was already stiff again and standing tall on his abdomen, knowing that if Michael had his way, we'd be here all night.
He grinned with inviting eyes, and I pressed the body wash into his hands. “Nuh-uh,” I stated, smirking. “Not going there. Wash yourself.” He took the bottle with a laugh.
The water was already cooling by the time we had shampooed each other and prepared to step out of the shower. I picked up the folded towel from the toilet seat to throw at Michael and got a new one from linen cabinet. By the time he emerged from the bathroom with the ebony lushness slung around his waist I was already standing naked in front of my closet, selecting clothes for the club.
I pulled out a pair of tight, black leather pants that was so low you would be able to see my hip bones jutting out above the top. I hadn't worn them in over a year but knew they’d still fit. To compliment them, I chose a gray sleeveless tee, slashed with red and ripped in all the right places and a black button down shirt. Michael watched me with an apprehensive gaze when I held them up for his inspection, and I saw jealousy flicker across his features.
“Do you really have to?” he balked, moping. “Every man in the place will be staring at you, not to mention where they’ll want to put their hands. Can’t you wear something a little less… um… revealing?”
“You mean less slutty?” My smile flashed playfully, and I sauntered over to him in a suggestive prowl. “It’s my style and all for your benefit, love. I don’t pay attention to how others stare at me. You’re my man, and I only care about your eyes on me and you touching me, nobody else.”
“But…” he interrupted, never taking his eyes off my naked groin. I was already half-hard again, and his greedy expression drank me in, firming his own organ.
I dropped the clothes on the bed and took him in my arms, kissing his chin, our chests touching and my fingers twisting in his damp hair. “We’re going to dance, Michael,” I told him in a sultry tone. “It will make both of us hot. You can put your hands anywhere on me you like. And when we have each other so turned on that you can’t stand it and all we can think about is fucking, you can bring me home and I’ll let you do anything you want.”
“Anything?” he murmured, his voice deep from irresistible expectation and running his hands down my ass. “That sounds promising.”
“Promising… for later. Now get dressed.”
It was a Friday night, and a parking place for Michael's Nissan was only achieved by driving around the Cobbles lot several times and waiting for someone else to depart. Once inside, however, we managed to snag a small table near the bar despite the fact that the club was typically wall-to-wall. I bought us two Coronas each, mostly to relax Michael, and my lover appeared uncomfortable at first and sat like a lump. A frowning lump who was wearing very tight jeans and a band t-shirt with the sleeves cut out; a little too loose for my tastes, but it suited him, and he was still sexy. He wasn’t used to the driven noise, the cigarette smoke and the sex-minded crowds, having only been inside Cobbles just the once. But gradually I coaxed him out of his shell…
… And out onto the raised, strobe-lit dance floor full of sweating and weaving bodies, some dancing singly, some in couples. It was an environment I knew well, one I loved, and I began to sway and gyrate to the heavy techno pounding of the music and get into the tempo. At first Michael just stood there in self-conscious approval, watching my moves until I walked directly up to him and lifted his hands to place them on my hips. I showed him a few basic steps before whirling in his arms and grinding my ass into his groin. His eyes went hot and narrow in salacious appreciation, and I could feel his boner harden insistently against the cleft of my butt. He wasn’t the only one, and my erection was almost painful and threatened to burst out of my pants. My body temperature was rising with my arousal and I threw off my outer shirt.
Michael began to get into the beat as well as the spirit, whipping his hips in time to the music and running his hands down my sides to rest on my bare skin below my waist. As his inhibitions evaporated, I had to admit he was pretty good, and I smiled in encouragement and let myself lean into him. His gaze landed on those dancing around us, and I saw it for what it was- learning more complicated moves and leading him curiously to discover why some termed club dancing as sex standing up. I pressed shameless advantage, finding his hard-on and feeling him up wantonly, and he groaned. I looked at my hot boyfriend with drops of perspiration clinging to the hair of his bare chest and his tawny eyes watching my every dip and sway, and I grinned at him in love and admiration.
That didn’t mean our ‘we are together’ signals were fully recognized enough to keep others away from us. More than one endeavored to insert his writhing form between the two of us, but with our bodies snuggled together, I threw jealous glances into the crowd that all but screamed ‘mine’. For the few who refused to take a visual hint, I left no doubt verbally that I was not willing to relinquish him. The floor was busy but not packed, and those who attempted to sashay their asses invitingly into my crotch received a gentle but impatient push on their way to find a different partner. Just as I’d promised Michael, I was for him alone to peruse.
Coming to the club had been a great idea, and Michael seemed to be relaxing and having fun. After dancing for almost an hour, we were tired and gasping for breath, and he and I had managed to work up quite a thirst. We decided to take a break and were back at the table drinking another beer when I heard Tomas’ raucous laughter right behind me. I bounded to my feet in time for his open arms to encircle me with his usual greeting. “Dax, sweet boy!”
Tomas bent over me in a delighted hug. “Hey, how are you, baby?” he asked, flashing me one of his high wattage grins. He was in his usual flamboyant clothing. I was cordial and allowed a quick peck on the cheek, and he couldn’t help but notice Michael’s fingers entwined possessively in mine as he sat down.
“But what is this?” he mused, laughing. “So you two have found true love at last. Another good man, or I should say two men taken off the market.” He bemoaned that he’d never get a chance to share us, making me giggle, but Michael shot daggers at him with his eyes. He congratulated us sincerely and bought us each a beer. Finally Tomas stood up, claiming he had to mingle and said goodbye. “Don’t be strangers, my dears.”
Michael looked at me and shook his head to clear away the quick downpour that Tomas could be for the uneducated. “Damn, at least he knows when to back off.” Squeezing his knee, I felt his muscles let go of some of the tension. I nudged his beer closer, and he drained it in one gulp.
Rested and eager, Michael pulled me back to the floor. We found our own beat and I let him swivel his hips into mine and take my mouth in hard, demanding kisses that ratcheted up my rising excitement. For the next half-hour, we moved as if we were the only two people on the planet, our hands trailing over clothed body parts, my face nestled on Michael’s soft neck below his left ear and dragging the scent of his musky sweat infused with his Santal cologne into my lungs like a drug. He wrapped his arm around me protectively to drag me closer and palm my chest, and he moaned as our erections collided.
“We need to get you laid, Mr. Business School.” I bit the lobe of his ear and he jumped.
“I’ll take that as a ‘let’s get the hell out of here’,” he whispered back, the scorch in his eyes making it obvious that he was going to rip off my clothes in front of everyone if we didn’t find some privacy right away. I felt like I was ready to combust. Michael gripped my hand and we quickly made our way to the door and into the summer night.
(To be continued...)